Here’s a common way for one of my sessions to start:
Client: what are we going to do today?
Me: we’re going to do some squats and pull-ups...
Client (incredulously): i can’t do pull-ups!
Me: not with that attitude you can’t.
My response is only half joking. The joking half is because I like to tease and bust my clients’ chops a little. I believe the other half to be 100% percent true. The moment you tell yourself you can’t do something is the moment it becomes the truth.
I’ve literally had clients walk away from a exercise if they go into it saying “I can’t...” or “I don’t think...”. I’ll have them do a different exercise or just wait a minute or two. Then I’ll tell them (or ask them why they think) why I switched the exercise. Then I’ll have them rephrase and try to do the exercise.
To be clear, I don’t have a problem with “negative talk” because I know my clients can do every exercise I give them. I say “try to do the exercise” because there are times when I’m not sure if they can do the exercise or not. My problem with “negative talk” is that it’s usually a cop out.
What I mean is that people use “negative talk” when they aren’t sure if they can do something or when they don’t want to do something. For example, pull-ups. The exchange above happens just about every time I introduce pull-ups into a new client’s program. The majority of my new clients are new exercisers, so it’s conceivable that they have never attempted to do a pull up in their life. Here lies the problem with “I can’t”: it becomes an excuse to not even try.
When you try something new there are two possible outcomes: either you can or you can’t. If you can’t, that’s great. It’s great because when you learn you can’t do something, you gain insight into what it takes to do that thing. The insight is what you use to get better at the thing. Then you try the thing again. You get the point.
If you can, that’s great too. Keep trying things until you can’t. Just don’t say you can’t.
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