"Don't Yuck my Yum"

I did a bad thing. I didn't mean to do it but nevertheless it was a bad thing. I yucked somebody's yum. Now unless you have a three year old you probably don't know what it means to "yuck someone's yum." So let me explain. To "yuck a yum" means you're expressing your dislike for something that someone else likes.

My son was taught "don't yuck someone else's yum." It's a preschool/daycare lesson taught to toddlers to show them that people can/do like different things and that's ok. It's taught during meal times inevitably when one kid says something another kid is eating is gross. See, yuck & yum.

And as with most preschool lessons, this lesson extends well beyond its intended purpose.

Ok, who's yum did I yuck? (Aside: I'm having a lot of fun typing yuck & yum over and over. I might belong in preschool.)

Here's the story: My wife and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when she looked at her phone and expressed glee. A friend had sent her a post workout picture in a sports bra. I was like "what's the big deal"? Turns out it was a bucket list item for this friend to workout in a sports bra.

Here's the yuck: I stupidly stuck to my guns wondering what the big deal was. This is someone I know that works out regularly and is thin and attractive. I see less thin and less attractive women working out in sports bras all the time. (And to be clear, that's ok.)

Here's the yum: my wife explained that this had to do with confidence. Particularly her friend having the confidence to take a step she'd been avoiding for a long time. This shouldn't have needed to be explained to me but as I said I might belong in preschool.

I yucked her yum. That was bad. This was particularly bad considering that a really, really big part of my job is helping people find their confidence and realize they can and should do all sorts of things. I should've immediately realized what was at play here and been just as delighted as my wife. I blew it. Preschool.

I'm telling you this because there are probably a lot of new people in your gym right now. A lot of these people are stepping out of their comfort zones and trying stuff they've been scared/uncomfortable to try for a long time. Keep that in mind. Realize what may seem insignificant to you could be huge for them. Don't yuck their yum.

Beauty in the Struggle

"There's beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success." That's a line from the J. Cole song Love Yours. The line was the ear worm I had this morning when I woke up. I don't know why, I don't remember listening to the song recently. Anyway there it was playing on repeat in my head as I showered this morning. So I started thinking about the line. It's just a play on the various "it's the journey, not the destination" quotes. I'm sure you've heard some version of those quotes but when was the last time you thought about it?

People are all about quick results. "I lifted on Monday and did a HIIT class on Tuesday, I should be #jacked by Friday." We all know that's not how it works but still our expectations get the best of us.

Have you ever had quick success that a) lasted and b) you took a real life lesson from? I would venture to guess that you remember the wins that you had to work for in a lot more detail.

I would also question what you had to do to get your quick success. For instance, I can guarantee that if you only ate one meal of 8oz of boiled chicken and a cup of steamed veggies every day for two weeks that you will lose weight. Your friends and family probably won't want to be around after a couple of days but hey. There's ugliness in the success.

I've listened to tons of interviews of successful athletes and even gamblers. One thing that seems to come up in all of these interviews is that they always remember the losses that helped shaped their careers. Professional poker players can explain bad beats in painstaking detail. Basketball players remember everything from where other players were on the court down to the mechanics of the shot they missed in that big game.

The thing is, even though they remember them, they don't dwell on these losses. They learn from them and then they apply what they learned in other situations. There's beauty in the struggle.

I think this is what separates successful professional athletes (actually successful anythings) from the average joe. First off they finish. Most people start something, then it gets hard and then they stop. Then to make it worst when asked about the experience all they say was that it was hard. Meaning they didn't get anything else out of it that can be used at a later time.

So next time you feel like you're looking for a quick win or you feel like giving up, remember the beauty and lessons are in the struggle and that quick success comes with ugliness in the form of hidden problems.

"Start Before You're Ready"

The other day I was on Facebook and I clicked a on a video that a friend posted. This blog isn't about that video, I don't even remember what that video was. Anyway, Facebook did that annoying thing it does now where it goes right into another video. The second is the one I'm going to talk about. That video was by Kevonstage (I don't know his actual name).  He's a comedian that usually posts videos from some room in his house or in his car. Anyway, I like Kev so I let the video play (also probably because he was talking about his personal training session). This particular was in his car and it was titled "Start Before You're Ready". I quickly realized that the video wasn't going to be funny but I kept watching. He talked about how people wait for the perfect time before they begin something. He basically says there is no perfect time and you need to just start. I'll link to the video at the end of this.

Well this video reminded me of a couple of things. The first being all the times people in  the gym have told me they need to get in shape before they could start training with me. This has happened multiple times. And it's not like these are people that I was putting on a full court press on to buy training sessions. These people would come up to me unsolicited and tell me once they worked out more they would then pay me to work them out more.

The other thing was something I do during sessions. In between sets I'll ask the client if they are ready? When the client is a newbie they may say they're not ready to get started exercising yet. That's when I quickly explain that "are you ready" isn't really a question, it's my way of saying it's time to get going again whether or not you're ready. (Written out that sounds mean; I promise it doesn't come off that way in person...I think.)

These things, even though it probably doesn't seem like it, have something in common. Excuses. The person telling me they have to get into shape before they start training is making an excuse. In the case of my training sessions, I'm taking away the excuse of the client saying "I'm not ready yet".

You definitely need to make preparations to do stuff. I'm not saying you should be jumping into things completely unprepared. I'm saying that if you find yourself repeatedly saying "I'm not ready yet" then it might be time to ask yourself if you're making excuses. If you're waiting for every detail to be perfect you're probably going to be waiting for a long time.

Starting is often the hardest part. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be to start. So take Kev's advice and start before you're ready.

Here's a link to the video: https://www.facebook.com/KevOnStage/videos/242642343059263/

It's kind of long but the first few minutes are definitely worth it.

Your Group Fitness Class Isn't Helping You Lose Fat (pt 2)

Last week I wrote about how most group fitness classes aren't doing the thing most people are going to them to do: fat loss. Check it out here. I won't say that I was bashing group fitness classes but I did point out the limitations group fitness classes face when it comes to fat loss. I've had a few people ask what they should do instead of group fitness classes then. Makes sense since I didn't really give many solutions. So then it makes sense that I should give some solutions now. So that's what I'll do. So I'm going to give 3 suggestions that you can use. Before that though, I'll say that any fat loss strategy is only as good as the way you eat while you're doing it. This is where the phrase "you can't out train a bad diet" comes from.

1. I'm not saying you should forgo group fitness classes forever. If you are a person who likes group fitness classes and you're looking to burn fat, then find a short High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) class. By short I mean 30-45 minutes. If it's a 45 minute class, then about 10 minutes of that should be devoted to warmup/cool down. A shorter class will ensure that you'll be able to reach the (really) high intensities that are needed to burn fat.
2. Start lifting. Or better yet, start lifting heavy. I'm talking about doing compound movements like squats, deadlifts, bench presses and overhead presses. These are big bang for your buck exercises that will help you build muscle. Building more muscle will help you to raise your resting metabolism. This will allow you to burn more fat as you're sitting around doing nothing.

   Let me take a minute to define heavy lifting. To really be lifting heavy you're going to at least know your 5 rep max and even better would be your 1 rep max. Your max is the maximum amount of weight you can lift. A rep max is your max for a given number of reps. So when I'm talking about "lifting heavy", you're going to be at at least 80% of your 1 rep max. (If your max is 100lb, then you'll be using at least 80lbs.) The reps you use will depend on how heavy you go beyond 80%. Generally speaking you're going to be working in the 4-6 rep range.

   When you're lifting heavy, you're form is going to need to be perfect. So you're going to need to take the time to learn how to lift. Find a certified trainer in your area and make the investment to get coached.

3. My final suggestion is go the long slow distance route. This is also known as "traditional" cardio. Go on a run, hit the elliptical or the exercise bike for 30-60 minutes. The trend is definitely towards HIIT but cardio stills works. A good cardio session will burn a lot of calories, with the majority of those calories burned coming from fat.

The three suggestions aren't any in particular order of importance. So in conclusion, let's put these in order. First off, you should be on a lifting program. Your lifting program should cycle between heavier periods and lighter periods (of lifting). So when you're in a heavy cycle you'd be better off adding a couple of days of "traditional" cardio. This will help with recovery. When you're in a light cycle this is when you can go to you're HIIT classes. This is a really basic suggestion of a workout structure. If you want to get more specific, this is where investing in a good trainer will come in handy.

Take action...solve problems

I came across this quote:

"“If you have a problem that can be solved with action, you don’t have a problem.” – Mel Robbins

I don't know who Mel Robbins is but I liked the quote. Enough that I posted it as a Facebook status. It really struck a chord with me. People tend to be happy to tell you all about their problems. And actually a part of my job is asking people about their problems.

Now as the quote suggests, there are a lot of people out there who think they have problems but they really don't. (To be clear, there are plenty of people with plenty of real problems.) Like I said, people like to talk about their problems. For whatever reason though, people don't necessarily like to solve their problems. Or I should say people aren't ready to solve their problems yet.

Now not all problems are created equals. Some problems only take seconds to solve and some will take years. When people are ready to solve their problems they don't just talk about them, they take action. And this is what all problems have in common. All problems (I believe) have actionable steps that can be taken to solve them.

(If your problem doesn't have steps you can take to solve it, then it's not a problem. It's a fact of life. You may not like it but it is what it is and you probably should be putting your attention elsewhere.)

So as part of my job I help people figure out the actionable steps to solve their problems. For example if my client's problem is they don't work out enough, then I'll suggest that they train with me more often. Obviously this may not be a viable option, so then we can come up with another option. We just repeat the process until we come up with a suitable solution.

A coach may make it easier for you and an experienced coach probably has heard your problem and has solutions that you probably wouldn't come up with on your own. That being said, while I'd love to have you all clients, you don't need me or any other coach to do this on your own.

To do it on you own, go backwards. What I mean is figure out what things are like when the problem is solved. What's difference between "I have a problem" and "problem solved"? If it's only one thing, take action to change that one thing. If the difference is a bunch of things, pick one and take action to change that one thing. Then pick something else and change that. When you get good at this (and this is where a good coach can work wonders) you'll get to a point where you'll learn to pick the things that solve the problem the quickest.

So I dare you to take one of your problems and take action to solve it. Let me know what your problem is/was and what action you're taking to solve it. Leave it in the comments.

Let Me Help You...

I realized that I've been writing this blog for a while and I've never explained what it is I do. Well I think it's pretty clear that I'm a personal trainer. It's probably more accurate to say that I've never explained how I can help you. You being a reader of this blog who isn't one of my clients. So what better time than the present to let you know what I can do for you.

• You're already taking part in the first way I can help. You're reading this blog. Every week I post about things that come up with clients or techniques that I think anyone can use to improve their health and/or fitness. To make sure you don't miss a post, just click the "follow" button and you'll get an email every time I post.
• Speaking of emails. I have an email list. You can sign up for it here. At the moment, I send 3 mails a week (one of them is the blog post). Emails go a little more in depth on different topics fitness, nutrition and lifestyle related. Also if you want more of a personal look into my life, these emails are where this is most likely to happen.
• Now we're going to get into the individualized ways to we can work together. The first is via online/distant training. Great thing with this is you can be anywhere in the world. Here we would work together to define your goals and any training concerns you may have. Then I put together a training program for you based on those goals and concerns. Finally we speak periodically (predetermined) to discuss how the program is going.
• The most personal way for us to work together is via in-person training. I'm there with you, putting you through the program that I designed based off the defined goals and concerns. Here you get the programming and me telling corny jokes while you work out. Win/win. The thing is you have to be in the NYC area (unless you would like to fly me somewhere tropical).

These are the major ways that I can help you with your health and fitness goals. Occasionally I run bootcamps and online challenges. I announce those via the mailing list, so there's another reason to join. Also you can follow me on my social media accounts here, here and here. Great thing about the social media is I post a lot of pictures of my boys and they're pretty cute.

So if you ever wondered how we can work together, these are the ways. Follow the blog, join the mailing lists and follow me on social media. Ready to start training? Message me via the mailing list or social media and I'll get you started.